Canned Openers | bemorealpha

EXAMPLES

OPENERS

A1: approach

Opener: Canned (memorized) or environmental material to start a conversation

False time constraint: {FTR} Showing willingness to walk away. “I can only stay here a minute”

These both help disqualifying yourself as a potential suitor (AFC).

~~~Easy way to make up your own openers is trying to find out something you are curious about, trying to learn or are confused by.~~~

NEVER OPEN WITH

EXCUSE ME

CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION

MAY I…

AND NO EXTRA ENERGY

~You guys look like experts”

~Let me get your take on this…

~Help me settle a quick debate…

Open on the side; preferably over the shoulder. If she faces you with full body, you REWARD that by facing your body towards her.

+Remember to Speak slow! Lean back! and SMILE!+

-hey you know what? You guys can settle a debate my friend and I are having ...

-Baby opener. Why is it that people talk to a baby like u so cuuuute? Do you think they understand the words or the actions. (Recall opener by Complience test Let me hear your baby talking voice or neg by telling her You so cuuuuute squeeze her cheek. Baby fat)

-Do You think it is ok for a girl to smoke a cigarette after she found out she was pregnant?

-Do you think it is ok to date your friends ex after he said it was ok?

-I need your expertise on something, My friends girlfriend tried pulling a move on me. that’s my best friend. What would you guys do?

-My friend Melvin girlfriend became a stripper. What should he do?…but she goes to usc double majoring in psychology and business

-Can you guys keep a secret? I need some advice too. My friends girlfriend tried to kiss me today. I don’t want to tell him! What should I do?

-do I look like a drug dealer? 3 different girls have walked up to me within 1 hour. asking me for weed. Then I say no, and then they get all pissed off and walk away? Do I really look like a drug dealer? ...OK, my real question is, has a guy ever walked up to you wanting something from you and when he realize he is not going to get it he gets all pissed off? That's like your life story right! that's how I feel right now. Hi 5. U are my best friend now.

-Hi ladies, I'm doing a survey on behalf of this establishment. Would you say we are average, above average, or crapier than average? :)

-Hey did you guys see that fight outside like about 5 minutes ago? It was 2 girls fighting for this guy George. He was like this short. The girls ripped his shirt off. Lol oh no no no his name was (Spanish) Jorge {apply Kino}

“Jorge porque?! why did you cheat on me with that?” yeah it was pretty funny… {apply FTC- False Time Constraint} anyway, I have to go meet my friends in a sec. But this brings me to a very interesting question…Who cheats more routine/ who lies more routine.

-Hey guys, quick question. Who cheats more, guys or girls? I have to go look for my friends in a minute but, who cheats more, guys or girls?

I have a friend that is dating this girl for about 5 weeks now. This story is so funny, {FTC} I’ll tell you why in a min. Last week, he got mad at her, went out, got drunk and cheated on her. Few days later, his girl comes over and finds a thong in his restroom. Anyway, he somehow got her to believe that it was his for them to wear to “bed.” she freaking believed him and went with the flow. Now, she liked it so much, she makes him wear that stupid thong every time they have sex. Lol he is so dreading it. Lol. What do you guys think? You think he should come clean? …honesty is the best policy

-Hey guys, quick question. Who lies more, guys or girls? I can only stay here a sec. my friends are waiting for me but, who cheats more?

Well, most men strongly believe that girls, even before you meet, they simply lie by hiding what they really look like with their makeup. Now, Chris Rock said that guys give small lies like “your butt doesn’t look big in those jeans”

And girls give the biggest lies like, “it‘s your baby!”

I personally think that make up should be used to enhance a woman’s beauty not hide it!

{NEG} you should use a little less makeup. You don’t need it.

-quick question. A guy is dating a girl for 2 weeks and he goes out one day and makes out with another girl. Is that cheating? Ok now here is the real question, {FTC} I’ll tell you why I’m asking in a sec. This girl goes out and makes out with another girl just for fun! Now, is that cheating? (neg them for double standers)

-Hi I need a female perspective in something. My best friend set me up for a blind date tomorrow and I don’t even know how she sounds like or anything. What to say? I know just be yourself right! Have u guys ever been on a blind date? I’m nervous but exited at the same time.

+ One of my friends was set up in one and all she knew was the guys name was Mike. Anyway, she shows up early, they meet in a restaurant and after talking to this guy for half an hour. She says I'm going to the restroom and she books outta there. On her way out a guy takes her arm, Jessica, hi I'm mike, lol she was talking to the wrong guy lol.

-Are you guys best friends? You guys make the same facial expressions. You see, there you go again, like No! that’s not true!

-there is something attractive about you, I don’t know what it is but im curious to find out

-ok, you cant take me for a fool. Your sex appeal is through the roof. But look around, beauty is common. But you look like you have more than what meets the eye…

-do you know why you suck?

I’ve been wanting to talk to you for the past 20 minutes but you are too busy being miss popular…who in the hell are you? What’s your name?

-I see you are popular. what’s so special about you?

-Do you guys believe in ESP? pick a number between 1-4

now pick a number btw 1-10 ok ready 3-7 (90% of Americans pick 3 and 7)

Ok now name a vegetable -carrot! (90% of Americans pick carrot)

*give me a kiss and I‘ll teach u* if she asks to do it again, “don’t be greedy”

-Quarters routine (magic)

One quarter in each hand but only show her one and say that target (ex. Sara) Sara is going to try it now. You put both hands behind your back pretending to shuffle. Bring them clinched up front and then ask Sara to choose a hand. Each hand has a quarter, she cant miss. Then say she got it right and that she is lucky and I should take her to Vegas.

-Hey are you open to a complete strangers opinion, hey me too, you go first

-I can use your opinion on something, its kinda sad though:

My niece just lost her pet. English bulldog “Twinkie” she died of pneumonia. Should I get her something else or get her the same kind of pet? I think it can never be replaced. Have you ever lost a pet? You guys are sweethearts; you must be from outta town!

-Do you think it’s old fashioned to open a girl’s door? Pulling out the chair? I think tradition is fatting away. I went out on a date a couple of months back, I opened her door… Do you think it’s old fashioned to open a girl’s door? Pulling out the chair? …she thought we were playing musical chairs or something. I pulled one and she moved to the next one and again…

-flower in first date too much?

-Cats or dogs? No way (cats/ dogs) suck! {FTC} the reason I ask is because my niece bday is coming up she is turning 7 and I’m not quite sure what to get her. What do you guys think?

-Real quick, do you guys think it is ok to take a self-empowering class? {FTC} I have a friend that just finished a dramatic 9 year relationship with his girl. It has been about a year already they don’t even talk anymore. No kids. He is seriously thinking about taking this class. I tell him just to go out mingle, socialize, make friends. You know, to be himself. My ex-roommate thinks that guys meeting girls in a public place hard next to impossible. She also thinks that classes for empowerment are ironically lame. Then again, she has no problem attracting people in her Job… she is a stripper double majoring in psychology and business. She dances to put herself through school. I don’t know what to make of it. I am just glad she is still in school. You are still in school aren‘t you?

-Twins- one makes you laugh and the other is the best kisser in the whole world? Who would u choose?

-fem opinion on something. {FTC} on the first date should a guy pay or should they split the bill. 3 of my girlfriends told me that they hate a macho man to pay. I always pay I do not mind as long as the girl goes for the reach.

-text mess. Breakup?

-Hey don’t let a friendly hello go to waste! don’t be shy. Stop and talk to me

-Hey, don’t let all that good eye contact go to waste, stop and talk to me

-you are cute but I’m gonna make u a rockstar. (fix accessory she has on.) There! Now you are a rockstar

-do you think a man know what a woman wants and thinks?

-who is the creepiest guy in this bar?

-direct or indirect?

-Would you guys ever date a co-worker? She is a go-go dancer. She is hot but I don't know about that profession. We may loose our jobs.

-flowers. Roses or lilies. Girl beat up friend with lilies.

-Is this for hair or for the floor.

-My friend gave me 100$ for his girlfriends birthday and I have no idea what to get her? Any suggestions?

-you want to know what's amazing? Come here (grave her by the hand and relocate her)

-You are a Herd! A hot nerd! U are adorable so you are ok. what's your secret dorky behavior?

-hey...its always the quiet ones you gotta watch out for...

-What was the last thing you remember that you enjoyed doing?

-Your hair reminds me of something very interesting I heard to day! Did you know that Elvis Presley use to dye his hair black? And you know what was his real hair color? Guess…dirty blond. You know what else I found out today? I was sitting waiting for my turn to get a haircut and there is this huge stack of cosmo. Do you like cosmo? Well anyway, according to cosmo, girls tend to lie more than men! Do you think that’s true? I think guys just get caught more cuz they are stupid. And girls just lie about “oh, its ok if you go out to strip clubs…

-ARE YOU SHY? (unknown) Are you guys shy? I’ve been standing here talking to my friend for like 5 minutes now and you still haven’t said ‘hi”.

-BLIND DATE (unknown) Walk up to a girl or a group of girls. (no guys in the group preferred you will know what I mean) Say loud and clear, "hey, I need your opinion on something." "I am going on a blind date with some girl and I am very nervous about it. Is there any tips you can give me so I don't look like an idiot. I don't really know how to dress to impress or act the right way" (Act as AFC as you can to disarm the bitch shield)

NOW some girl would just tell you "be yourself"… you should reply with C&F line or expression. What I did was I made a very serious face and said "like this?" which cracked them up. I then put up the serious face again and said, "I need to know", and then change to a happy face and said "come on, tell me the secret to girls' hearts, and how do I dress to impress. If you were going on a blind date, what would you like the guy to look like".

At this point at least one girl would volunteer to give you a few tips, and then more will follow. You can then ask all the questions you want to those girls until they go dry (EV). Or you can run some patterns and move in to your routines.

Depends on how well you spin it, you might be able to get one of the girls out shopping with you or more. The danger of this opener is, they might give you advices to be AFC, i.e. buy her flowers...blah blah blah. It is your natural ability as an ASFer to filter out the useful info from the AFC ones.

***I have found a better way to use this opener. When I go out with totally NEWBIE guys I meet off PAIR or from my Lair, I’ll use this opener but make it about the newbie and put him on the spot and into the interaction… this way you don’t have to come off AFC***

-COLOGNE OPENER (MM) In a mall put on a different cologne on each wrist and ask girls which one smells better on you. Go back and forth several times between arms and make cute faces when you do.

Have something queued up and ready to go immediately afterwards.

-COMPLIMENT OPENER Compliment her on something she’s wearing or her hair or just style in general. The trick is compliment openers are to never compliment her on her physical beauty.

You have an incredibly energy about you. You have an artless grace That’s an incredible whatever-x accessory/garment

-DATING FOR DUMMIES (Herbal) Go find the Dating for Dummies book. It's bright yellow and black. I forget the exact page (78 maybe?), but find the page that has "NEVER USE THESE LINES" on it, and keep the book open to that page.

Walk up to a girl BLATANTLY and hold the book up in front of your face so she can easily read the title. She might start laughing, depending on how you do it.

Then slowly lower the book and read the lines. "So... come here often" in a super player voice. She will crack up and answer you. Break your "smooth" look on your face and quickly bring the book back up and read the next line "What's your sign?". She will laugh again and probably answer.

Then I usually say "Wow... this works great. Your turn". It puts her on the spot. You can flip to random pages and do tons of role-play... the breaking up stuff is great.

Eventually just stack with a relationship related opener, and you're in. I've done this a ton of times and it never fails to open.

-DIRECT OPENERS Hi, I like you. And I’d like to get to know you. Hey, What’s up? Where are you going? You’re cute, are you friendly/interesting? You guys are so adorable. You have such a cute group dynamic going on. I want to meet you guys. My name is x-name… How are you? You look like someone I’d like to meet. etc… (I have a lot of successes with these on girls that are HB7 and lower or older women)

-DENTAL FLOSS (Style and Mystery) Hey guys, I need to get your opinion on something. It's very important, and we need a woman's perspective. It's a matter of life and death.. My friend and I were having a debate and your answer could completely change my entire life....

Do you brush before floss or floss before brush? No one knows…

-DON’T TOUCH ME (David D.) When a girl bumps into you in a crowded club tap her on the shoulder and say “don’t touch me” … have something to immediately follow up with.

-DRUG DEALER OPENER (unknown) Used with a wing at night, with funny, just-got-done-laughing tonality. "Hey, I need your opinion on something...does my friend here look like a drug dealer?" (chicks usually either laugh or look quizzically) "Because we were outside and some dude came up to him and touched him on the shoulder like this... (cheap kino on girl) and asked, ‘Hey man, you got some E?’" Ideally you will use this with a wing who doesn't look too straight-laced.

I’ve done this where my wing will open with this and I’ll pipe in with “Since I’ve changed my look I get asked, “do I party” like all the time. I think they’re looking for cocaine. Another thing I’ve noticed is about 10 times a night I’ll get someone coming up to me and asking “can I bum a cigarette”… I don’t smoke but I’m seriously considering carrying around a pack… but not like regular cigarettes… like Virginia Slims 120s… then I’ll just pull one out and hand it to the guy and he’ll be all like “WTF?” etc…”

-EIGHTIES MUSIC (Twentysix) Hey guys, help me out, I have this song stuck in my head ALL day and I can't remember who sings it. it goes "you spin me right round baby right round like a record player right round, round round, etc...." who sings that???

(blah, blah, blah)

I was talking to my mom earlier today and she said its Lionel Richie… but I KNOW that isn't right!

Then later in the night you can like reopen with “Dead or Alive…” This works with any one hit wonder 80s music.

-ELVIS OPENER (Mystery) Did you know that Elvis dyed his hair black? What was his natural hair color? Dirty Blond. Did you know that Priscilla Presley also dyed her hair?

I don't know what her natural hair color was, I'm not Cliff Claven, but can you picture that these two every couple of weeks would dye their hair black together around a dirty sink in some sick mass-appealing ceremonial ritual? I bet people never considered that before ... did you?

Alternative: Did you know that all Elvis had to do to get a shag was look directly into the girl's eyes and smile?

Then look into the chick's eyes and smile.

-EXPENSIVE CLOTHES (unknown) "Hey guys, I need a female opinion... we were just Saks today, and there were all these 600$ collared tee-shirts… when chicks see guys wearing 6bill shirts like that, do they think its classy or try-hard?" (That’s the skeleton obviously use your own speaking mannerisms)…

Then you can use what info and opinions they give you to bust on them, using all the usual stuff.

-FAT ELVIS (Wilder) Hey guys, if you were going to hire an Elvis impersonator for your friend's birthday party, would you hire a young Elvis or a Fat Elvis?

blah, blah, blah. (if she says young Elvis bust on her for being shallow)

Get this, my roommate lived in Graceland for a year and he said the craziest thing. He told me that the fat Elvis impersonators always got the hottest chicks, and the young Elvis's were always alone. I couldn't believe it at first, but I thought about it, and it kinda makes sense. I guess women just lose all control when the see a fat Elvis impersonator doing "hunka hunka burnin' love."

-KHAKI OPENER (superfly) Hey, guys, my friends and I were making fun of some frat boys, and got into an argument...is khaki a color or a fabric?" The correct answer is that khaki is a color, and most girls know this. You can go into, "See, I was thinking it was a color, but the thing is that you never see a khaki car or wallpaper color or anything like that!" then fire into your next routine...

-KINO OPENERS (TylerDurden) Pushing girls, grabbing drinks out of their hands, lightly hip checking them, snapping bra straps, grabbing hats off heads, poke her, tap the opposite shoulder, etc…(these require no memorization are easy for newbies)

-MYSTERY’S ESP (Mystery) Walk up to a girl and say, "Do you believe in ESP?" Remember to SMILE or you may startle her. "Just think of the first # that pops into your head from one to four. Don’t say it. Just think it ... now take that # and imagine that it is drawn on a blackboard in your head. Have you done that?"

She says OK

"What’s so neat about imagination is ... we both have it ... On the blackboard, I see the number ... three."

Whether you get it right or not reply.

"Alright, lets try this one more time. This time think of a different # from one to 10. Got it? Picture it in white chalk on the blackboard ... you are thinking of the number ... 7."

If you got the first wrong and the second right, you look like you finally got it ... a 1 in 10 chance. If you get BOTH right (a 90% chance seeing as it is a psychological trick where most north Americans naturally choose 3 and 7 as their first picks) that’s a 1 in 40 chance ... "and of course I don’t stake my reputation on mere chance."

If you get the first right but the second wrong or both wrong, say... "PROOF! ESP does NOT exist!" Then start to laugh like this "Mooa ha ha ha ha ha ha! And you believe in ESP!" a good neg hit to start. If she mentions that most people pick 3 and 7 (most girls wont know this though) just say, "really? Hmm… didn’t know that ... thank you Cliff Claven." (From Cheers)

If you take the wording I have and do this EXACTLY as stated, you will be surprised HOW well you will do. When they ask HOW, tell them ... I DON’T KNOW. Tell her you can SEE the #s on your imaginary blackboard. This is NOT a trick. You hate magicians. If she wants you to do this again, tell her ... "don’t be greedy now."

Speaking of greedy ... if a girl kisses you on the cheek and goes to kiss your other cheek, tell her, "Only one ... don't be greedy." This is a good NEG HIT. Mild but a neg hit nonetheless. If she says, "Yes, but I’m French", you reply, "Are all French girls as greedy as you?"

-FEMALE ROOMMATES (Tenmagnet and TylerDurden) I've been offered this *SWEET* place in (x place).. I want to live there, *BUT*..... I have to live with FOUR girls. Like *FOUR*. I'm going to get 4 times the boyfriend complaints; I'll never get in the fucking bathroom... I'm gonna have to start showering at the truck stop, and you KNOW they're gonna synchronize. (Smile knowingly) Heck, I'll probably start *MY* period. I'm going to have to leave the house for 5 days a month!

Did you know that's why primitive civilizations developed camping? All the women in the tribe would synchronize and the guys would look up at the moon and be like "The antelope are moving now, we must HUNT".

Also... living with all those girls, I could get RAPED. Did you know that 95% of guys that get date raped commit suicide in 6 months? Girls are such sexual predators... (sexual predator routine stuff below)."

-GLASSES ON OR OFF (Twentysix) Approach Girls 26 – Glasses off (take glasses off) 26 – Glasses on (put glasses on) 26 - What do you guys think looks better? *HBs – (Responses: On!/Off!/What?/Laughing) 26 – Glasses off (take off glasses) 26 – Glasses on (put on glasses) (I did the sequence any where from 2 to 4 times) HB1 – I like them on! HB2 – I like them off! (If HBs disagree then they usually started laughing…I guess they think it’s funny that they have different opinions). 26 – My friends tell me I look like Clark Kent when I have the glasses on! HBs – (Responses: Yeah you do! / No). 26 – Why do you like it when my glasses are on/off? HB1 – (When likes glasses on) I think it makes you look sexy/it makes you look clever. HB2 – (When likes glasses off) I think you look better with them off, but I like them on too!

You get the idea…it opens the group.

Here’s another way I introduced the opener:

Approach Girls 26 – I need your opinion. Do I look better with my glasses off (take glasses off) or with my glasses on (put glasses on). (I put like a fun/playful face on).

*Run with the rest of the opener above.

Trouble Shooting If a girl asks you to put them on and off too many times I would do one of the following: - I’d put them on and off again, but act goofy (make faces…whatever) - Oh my god. Again? (Playful). Then I’d do it again (don’t know if this is a good idea, what do you guys think?) - Say to the girl who didn’t ask: Wow. Is she always like this? Takes a long time to make decisions?

-I'M LOST (TylerDurden) I'm lost... I can't find my friends and I'm scared... Remember when we were kids and you could just make new friends whenever you wanted... and you said 'want to be my friend?' Do you guys want to by my NEW friend?"

-INTRODUCTION OPENER (ijjjji) PUA: (grab unsuspecting SHB by the arm and point at a random dude) "OMG, that guy is PERFECT for you - let me introduce you!!" (start moving towards the guy)

SHB: What?! No.. NONONO.. haha.. Help!

PUA: (to guy) This girl is so shy, but she really wanted to meet you!

SHB: (Giggeling hysterically) Nonono... its not true!(Fleeing)

PUA: Awww come on.. don't be shy..

Both girls were very hot and totally stuck up before I did this. Both of them came back and talked to me several times during the evening, to tell me how crazy I was...

-MR. BIG (Dr. Paul) Hey guys, do you watch the show Sex and the City?? I was just talking to those girls over there and they told me I remind them of "Mr. Big" is that good or bad?

(ooooohhh we LOVE Mr Big!!)

-NEVER BE COUPLE (ijjjji, TD) "Aww - you are soo cute.. but you make me SO SAD! (HB:WHY?) (pause with puppy dog face) Cos we could NEVER EVER be a couple! (HB:WHYYY???) Nooo.. we are too similar.. IMAGINE, we would be SO IN LOVE.. and the next moment, we would be fighting and screaming and throwing things.. and then we would have HOT MAKE UP SEX all over the place.. and then fight, makeup sex, fight, make up sex.. after a week we would both be in psychiatric care due to emotional drainage!"

-PICKING UP CHICKS (unknown) Just open with “Hi, we’re picking up chicks”… its C&F

-PIMP NAMES (jlaix) guys guys... I'm coming up with a pimp name for myself, which is better: "d-licious dogg"? or "deacon dr. rockafella"?

oh cool... shit, you need one too... I'll call you "devious honey g sweetness"...

-PRIMP OPENER (Harmless) First, here is the frame you're using for this opener:

"You're CUTE... but I'm going to make you a ROCKSTAR!"

This is, in fact, the exact wording I used to open Schematic's HB9 on Saturday night. I opened her and I let him take over and #close her. (He should have gotten more. Bad schematic. Oh well, I'll call her later. Maybe)

You don't even need to say anything to open, so this works in the loudest clubs.

You walk up, of course making sure to keep your BL under control. (Shoulders away, etc.) You check her out then make a face like you aren't happy with what you see. Then you hold your hands out like you're judging her style. You move in SLOWLY, pick some article of clothing (hat, shirt, etc. Best if it's upper body or head) and PRIMP it. Take her hat and TWIST it ever so slightly. Now, back away, lean back, look her over, and give her a thumbs up.

"NOW you're a SUPERSTAR!"

Continue with push/pull if you wish... "But wait..." and twist the hat back the other way. If she touches her hat, bust her for messing it up.

Tell her she's allowed to be seen with you now, and promenade her around the club.

-RICH OPENER (Herbal, TD) Came up with this one the other night at a club. When opening a set, walk up and ask, "Which one of you is the richest?". Then go into the whole "Ok, you get to be my sugar mama, then. But hmm.... we need someone to cook for us, who is the best cook?" routine.

Pretty fun and opens easily. To give credit where credit is due, it's just a variation on "Are you rich?", which I think TD came up with.

-RICKI LAKE (Mystery Method) This one is used to wing your buddy, especially if he's in a two-set and the obstacle needs to be kept occupied. "Hey, my friend here just got invited to be on the Ricki Lake show. But the theme of the show is Secret Admirers. They told him he's got an admirer, but he won't find out whom until he's live on the set. So maybe it'll be someone cute, but maybe not; it might even be a guy. What would you do if you were him?"

-SEATTLE GF (TylerDurden) "Hey guys, I need an opinion. My friend met this girl in Seattle, and they really hit it off. They wound up hooking up on the first night, and he even hung out with her in L.A. over the next week. So he's up visiting her in Seattle last week, and they're out on a walk. He takes a few pictures of them together. Like really cute ones with them together. Some of them they're just hanging out, and a few of them they're like kissing or whatever while they're out walking.

Anyway, the next morning he wakes up, and checks his camera. He looks at the pictures, and he sees that she's woken up before him and gone into it and deleted the pictures where they're kissing, and left the ones where they're just hanging out. He goes to her and says 'Are you psycho? Why are you going into my camera?' She says its because she thought she looked bad in the pictures, and didn't want him to have them. But he can't figure out if she's psycho or if its legit that for girls they just hate having pictures out there where she doesn't look good. He just really liked them because he likes her and doesn't judge the pics like that."

The girls will either say:

"It's totally natural. I hate it when pictures make me look bad, especially with a digital camera where you can just delete them and take more." (They also sometimes say "But he's only known her a few months. I wouldn't do that on a guy I just met.")

-or-

"She has a boyfriend!"

Your immediate reply would be "He doesn't care about that. He's busy. He just doesn't want her deleting his pics! :)"

-SEXY MONKEY (Tenmagnet) Do you think Curious George is a sexy monkey? 'Cuz my little cousin was watching Curious George on TV yesterday, he's two and a half and he pointed at the screen and said "Sexy Monkey". Like WTF?!? I didn't teach him that... NO REALLY I DIDN'T

He's been hanging around with that Michael Jackson guy again.

-SIMPSONS OPENER (Gunwitch) Hey do you ever watch The Simpsons? Why has Marge never left Homer, I mean she’s a sexy bitch and he’s a deadbeat who fucks up all the time.

At this point you can just go on and talk about The Simpsons for a while.

-SLEEP WITH JESUS (Pnutt) This may sound like a weird question, but would you sleep with Jesus?

Like ok. It’s the year of 25 and your sitting at a bar in Jerusalem and this dude Jesus walks over and he sits down next to you. He orders you a water and turns it into wine. Would you have sex with him?

(blah, blah, blah)

"if there’s one guy to have a one night stand with, its Jesus!"

if its a mixed set, you use it on the guy:

"if there’s one guy to be gay with, its Jesus!"

-SPELLS OPENER (Mystery Method) "Do you think spells work?" Sometimes this will send the woman off on a long blab, but if the conversation needs to be kept going, the follow-up routine is:

"The reason I'm asking is because my friend over there met a girl in a club last week. He wasn't interested in her sexually, because she wasn't really his type." (Here the woman might say "Sure," in which case you reply "No, really!" and touch her arm or waist.) "Anyway, she hung out at his house and after she left, he found a metal ring wrapped around a scroll and some feathers under his couch. Well, he took it to a magick store and they said it was an attraction spell. And now, the strange thing is, he can't stop thinking of her. Do you think it's the spell or just psychological?"

-TATOO OPENER (unknown) Hey guys, would you ever get a Tattoo?

Here’s the deal…my nineteen-year-old sister wants to get her boyfriends name tattooed on her shoulder.

(no, no don't let her do it)

See that’s the problem she's really strong headed and when I tell her not to get the tattoo it just makes her want to get it even more. How do I deal with that and let her really know its mistake?

-TEXT MESSAGE BREAK-UP Is it OK to breakup with someone with a text message? (Then make up a good back-story for this)

-TWIN BROTHERS (Ross Jefferies) You're at a party or a club and you meet twin brothers; they are absoutely identical, physically.

ONE of them has the best hands of any guy you've ever met. The other is an incredible dancer. Which one do you pick?

Same scenario. Again, the two guys are identical. One makes you laugh more than anyone you've ever met. The other is the most incredible kisser you could ever in a lifetime encounter. Which one do you pick?

Same scenario: One guy has more money than Bill Gates. The other makes you feel like you are the most beautiful, desirable woman who ever walked the face of the planet. Which do you pick?

(It’d probably be best to make up some sort of back-story for this)

-WEBBED FEET (Nilatak) "Hey guys... would you date a guy with webbed feet??"

"I had a summer job at Y Supermarket and there was this guy I used to work with that had webbed feet. He would always complain that he couln't get a girlfriend. He needed to stuff his shoes with cotton so they would fill up and he would always walk on the tips of his feet. People used to call him 'Twinkle Toes'!"

They usually ask if it's me or my wing and I just bust out with "Nawwww...I'm DINKY PENIS!"

-WHO LIES MORE (Chris Rock version) Hey guys, I need a female opinion… who lies more Guys or Girls??.......... The way I see it girls the tell the small lies like “you’re ass doesn’t look fat in those pants” but girls… they tell the big ones... like... “Its your baby!”

DIRECT PU (DAY GAME)

::day game::

-excuse me, I'm in the market for some jeans, where would be the best place to up date my wardrobe? (They will say express, American eagle) isn't that kinda creepy though? What do you see me as? Wait! What's your age range just to see where we are at? 18-21 - 21-25? (Then make her guess how old you are) holy crap you got it right (to whatever number she says and give her a hug) no, I'm actually __ Ok where do you buy your jeans? Let me see. lend me your hand (trust test, spin her, then ask if she is a dancer? valerina?) Where do you go dancing to? (FTC)

*book store*-Is this section for girls that take long candle light baths?

-hey guys are you guys from around here? What is a good restaurant to eat Thai or Chinese? I mean, I work around here but don’t really know much…

-I know this is kinda random, but I just had to tell you that you are just too

cute.

-Hi, are you friendly?

-Hi, can I ask you a question? Are you single?

-I have a confession to make... I love...that shirt she has on!

-you guys look chill so I wanted to come say hi

-I’m cute, you are cute, what shall we do about it

-my girlfriend thinks you are so hot

-I’m curious to what caught your attention. What are you looking to buy?

-I know this is really random. You probably get this all the time but I just noticed you are absolutely stunning. I had to come say hello. I’m Edgar by the way. So what are you doing in this lovely day?

-if I had to wait on someone to introduce us, we’ve probably never meet. So I thought I come over and introduce myself.

-hey Julie how have you been? How is your brother Joe? …just kidding hi

-I am gonna come see you on a dead night just as you'll know. When is the best night

DIRECT PU (DAY GAME)

::day game::

*book store*-Is this section for girls that take long candle light baths?

-hey guys are you guys from around here? What is a good restaurant to eat Thai or Chinese? I mean, I work around here but don’t really know much…

-I know this is kinda random, but I just had to tell you that you are just too

cute.

-Hi, are you friendly?

-Hi, can I ask you a question? Are you single?

-I have a confession to make... I love...that shirt she has on!

-you guys look chill so I wanted to come say hi

-I’m cute, you are cute, what shall we do about it

-my girlfriend thinks you are so hot

-I’m curious to what caught your attention. What are you looking to buy?

-if I had to wait on someone to introduce us, we’ve probably never meet. So I thought I come over and introduce myself.

-hey Julie how have you been? How is your brother Joe? …just fucking with you. hi

-I am gonna come see you on a dead night just as you'll know. When is the best night

DIRECT PU (DAY GAME)

::day game::

*book store*-Is this section for girls that take long candle light baths?

-hey guys are you guys from around here? What is a good restaurant to eat Thai or Chinese? I mean, I work around here but don’t really know much…

-I know this is kinda random, but I just had to tell you that you are just too

cute.

-Hi, are you friendly?

-Hi, can I ask you a question? Are you single?

-I have a confession to make... I love...that shirt she has on!

-you guys look chill so I wanted to come say hi

-I’m cute, you are cute, what shall we do about it

-my girlfriend thinks you are so hot

-I’m curious to what caught your attention. What are you looking to buy?

-if I had to wait on someone to introduce us, we’ve probably never meet. So I thought I come over and introduce myself.

-hey Julie how have you been? How is your brother Joe? …just kidding hi

-I am gonna come see you on a dead night just as you'll know. When is the best night

DIRECT PU (DAY GAME)

::day game::

*book store*-Is this section for girls that take long candle light baths?

-hey guys are you guys from around here? What is a good restaurant to eat Thai or Chinese? I mean, I work around here but don’t really know much…

-I know this is kinda random, but I just had to tell you that you are just too

cute.

-Hi, are you friendly?

-Hi, can I ask you a question? Are you single?

-I have a confession to make... I love...that shirt she has on!

-you guys look chill so I wanted to come say hi

-I’m cute, you are cute, what shall we do about it

-my girlfriend thinks you are so hot

-I’m curious to what caught your attention. What are you looking to buy?

-if I had to wait on someone to introduce us, we’ve probably never meet. So I thought I come over and introduce myself.

-hey Julie how have you been? How is your brother Joe? …just kidding hi

-I am gonna come see you on a dead night just as you'll know. When is the best night