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DHV & Stories

Some DHV Stories

This goes after openers. After all FTC-OPENER-ROOT-NEG and then what? DHV

10 DHV stories I found on the web. Now, it is always best to use adventurous stories of your own! That way, if they are true, you don't really have to worry about stumbling and remembering all the details. For now, fake-it-til-you-make-it! Enjoy


1) "I was walking through the forest, you know right? When this bear suddenly stood up in front of me! I was scared shirtless-I didn't know what to do! I stood there frozen and scared. If I ran the bear would chase me and devour me! I remembered a trick by laying on the ground as if I was dead. Suddenly the bear sniffed me and I didn't oppose a threat to him anymore then walked off into the wooded forest. I got up and felt so relieved that my life was save from a simple trick... Talking about tricks, let me show you a trick and no it doesn't required playing dead! Here' I'll show you!"

2) "My friend was telling me about his girlfriend who cheated on him. He was so depressed that he was willing to end his life. I was like shit! I can't lose my friend! He means the world to me! We've grown up with each other and played with toys and played tag when we were younger. I can't lose him now! So, I talked with him and found out that he wasn't so sad about what she did-what hurt him most is that he couldn't find himself to trust another woman. I took him out that night and we went to the bar. Now alcohol makes symptoms worse so he didn't drink any-I prohibited it. He and I were having so much fun and I could see he was finally happy and moved on-plus he even got a date with his next girlfriend. He told me that I was the greatest guy in the world and thanked me for supporting him. It was a great feeling of helping another person out that inside I was happy and satisfied. Have you ever done anything special to help someone out?"

3) "I was at my nieces birthday party while I was feeling a little tired; I had a long day. I went to the grocery store and bought her a card and some gift. I went back to the house and she was so happy as she opened her gifts-laughing and giggling. SHE looked so adorable. I gave her my present and she looked up with me and said, "I love you uncle [name]!" Tears almost came down and I was relieved that I touched someone's life so much that it made me happy again. Did you ever have someone pick you up when you were sad?"

4) "I was at school during lunch. I was walking and I tripped. My food spilled all over myself and made me look like the jack ass. I got up from the floor and saw a group of jocks laughing. Think that's funny, I thought to myself. I took one of the jokes lunch and dropped it over his head. He got so pissed and enraged that he stood up and was gonna lunge at me, when I stepped aside and took my foot out. I tripped him and he fell face flat on the floor. Now everyone in the cafeteria was laughing at him now! I walked away unscratched except for food all over myself but overall I finally stood up for myself and made the jock look like a asshole."

5) "Do you love the rain? I remember one time I was out with a friend of mine on the house porch. Just watching nature taking it's toll and hearing the loud thumps of raindrops falling above the roof. It was like music especially the lightening. Every time the bolt would streak the sky and clapped, we both jumped and laughed. It was a awesome time together just us hanging out smoking. That was the most wonderful times in my life-have you had any times like those?"

6) Went hiking to the Hollywood sign and jumped the fence (as Mystery did). It feels like you are in top of the world! You made it! If I was to be arrested or even attacked by a snake, it would have all been worth it!

7) For example, if you're a surfer and there was this one time when you were surfing and a shark swam past by you. You just gatta find things in your life that can be turned into DHV stories... but remember if all else fails: fake it till you make it... just don't give up so easily in making your own stories.

8) I was at my friends Susy's Halloween party last year when someone suddenly screams fire!I'm thinking no way. The smoke detectors didn't even go off. But then I remembered they'd all been pulled them from the wall because everyone was smoking in the house. Inside the restroom, the floor mat and the shower curtain have all gone up in flames. Some dude dressed like a Ninja Turtle waiting to use the bathroom, just standing there like a total idiot. I'm like, "Dude, go find a fire extinguisher." I turn back to the fire. Apparently some girl dressed up like Marylin Monroe was trying to light some incense and lit her wig on fire. She threw it on the ground, which lit the floor mat on fire, which in turn set the shower curtain to flames.Now the Ninja Turtle who was supposed to find a fire extinguisher hasn't come back yet. The party's still going, the music's still blaring and now the flames have reached the ceiling.My friend throwing the party Susy is now on the floor crying, begging for someone to do something. So I run in, rip the shower curtain from the rail, throw it in the shower, pull the floor mat from the melting linoleum and throw that in too. And just as I'm turning on the water to put the flames out, the dude who was supposed to find the fire extinguisher comes running back in. He says, "I couldn't find the fire extinguisher, but I've got 911 on the phone. Fire department's on the way."Yeah, party didn't last long after the cops and fire engines started pulling up in front the house. That dude will never be invited back to another one of Susy's parties. Maybe him and Marylin Monroe can hang out next Halloween.

9) Work: "Well its an interesting story...See i was kicked outta my house when i was 17. I started college and was working full time and by the time i was 19 i had opened a cell phone store with a business partner. It was awesome i had 2 apartments and a nice car and was living it up, but then...i wrecked my car and had to close the partner came down with cancer. I went back to school and moved back in with my parents, but after a year they kicked me out again.Fortunately my aunt and uncle let me stay with them and i made some new friends, my uncle has friends that go back like 40 years, i mean can you imagine. So they are all like lawyers and business owners and i got a job with one at his orthopedics warehouse as a manager. Another one i became real close friends with and we are looking to open a business together. The rest i do some computer work for. I hope soon to get back to where i left off and get to the point were i can start buying some real estate. I just cant stand the idea of working to make someone else money."

10) When i was diving in Mexico a couple of years ago and a 1- a barracuda was swimming through my bubbles 2- the first shark that i saw 3-when i ran out of air when the current kicked up 4-I saved my friends life because of the strong current. You have to swim at an angle. He now tries to buy me any round of drinks, i don't let him but he is still up to this day, grateful that he is alive because of me.Any risk-taking, adventurous story can be created to spike up DHV. Even you talking good about your friends, specially your wing, can make you look good. Mystery uses one where he was in a meeting with the owner or a big club and his girlfriend was being followed by some guys. He rolled with his good friends and saved her.





Hey, stop it. Look, honestly, I'm attracted to you guys. But that doesn't mean

anything. I need TRUST AND COMFORT before I can let myself get too emotional.

It's like, first you guys start touching me and asking me my name.. And I'm

like "OK, this is fine.." ... But then I start getting all emotional, and you

ask to just go back and have some drinks.. And I ACTUALLY want to drink, so we

go back.. But then you get all close on the couch and you're like doing these

little touches.. And I think "OK this is fine.. There's nothing wrong with

this.." But then I get all emotional and won't be able to think logically and

one thing leads to another..

LOOK, I just want trust and comfort OK, leave me alone!



You know, my friends are like these awesome guys.. And I love hanging out with

them and they're really cool.. But its weird, because they're totally different

people like just normally, and like when they go out to socialize in clubs.

Like they get all touchy and needy and ask all this "what's your name" to

random girls that they're grabbing and stuff like that, or try to buy them

stuff to make them talk to them before they even gave the girls a chance to

just talk to them..

Like they can't just BE REAL and just lay back and be chill, and just be

confident that the girls will like them.. They have to touch them and like try

to get them all horny or something.. It's so weird.


My Whole Room Destroyer

I used this the other night, and then realized that I may not have

posted this here. It's my whole room destroyer: takes out every other

male in the place. Mystery and Maddash now use it too.

It's simple. Once you're in a set and they are loving you most, you

tell them:

"Listen, I'll tell you what. I will introduce you to any other guy in

the room. (Gesture around the room so that they look.) Pick anyone

out, and I will personally walk up and introduce you to him. And I

will guarantee you that not one of them is as interesting as us/me."

Make sure they look around and see all the boring AFCs.

They always ratify this, thus confirming to themselves that you ARE

the prize.


VLV (aka DHV) (from ijjjjji method)

I'm shy.

I'm a virgin.

My dick is extremely small!

I'm an unemployed loser - I live with my mom.

I'm so lonely - no friends - tonight I'll cry myself to sleep.

I'm an anal sex addict.

I'm no good! I cheat, lie and dump girls on valentine's day.

(Phone rings) What? I don't have friends! Ah its mom!

(During #close) I got phone phobia - is it ok if I make my mom call you?


IVD #3: Name Mnemonics

HB: What's your name?

Style: I'm Style.

HB: I'm Janet. This is Donna. And that's Tony.

Style: Okay…….Janet…Donna…Tony. You know, I used to be really bad with names.

HBs: Omigod, I'm so bad with names.

Style: But you don't have to be anymore. Here, I'll show you in two

seconds. All I do when I'm introduced to you is make a picture in my

head. So if you're Janet, I picture you with the head of Janet from

Three's Company. No offense. And for Donna, I just picture like the

dawn, and the sun rising over your head. And for Tony, I see you on

the front of a box of Frosted Flakes. Here, I'll show you.

Now, in the old days, I'd have them memorize my whole name: First,

Middle, and Last. But it came off as too gimmick-y. Now, I grab my

wing, or a stranger in the club (like another girl I want to meet) and teach

them how to memorize his/her First, Middle, and Last name. Learn about

mnemonics if you don't know this. But for it to work, you MUST have them really

SEE the picture in their minds. It also becomes fun testing them later in the

sarge to see if they still remember.


DLV response to the "where do you live?" question (INTMICOMM)

I use to live in a 400 square foot bachelor apartment building washing dishes in my bathtub.

I was so broke that I barely had any money to eat. Now, I live in a 10,000 square foot home.

Do you want to know how I did it?

HB: How?

Me: I moved back home with my parents.


Photo routine


Leave her alone once in awhile when you're out together.

-when shopping instead of sticking beside girl entire time walk away from her

into different part of the store once in awhile & let her come find you.

communicates that confident & independent, do what you want with your life &

don't need stay by her side every second to get her approval."


At a meeting, a woman walked in the room late. I stood up as she

walked in, to shake her hand and introduce myself.

HB: You don't have to stand up.

Style: I can't help it. My mother raised me well.


Psycho Driver DHV (Tommy W)

"So i'm talking to this girl that i JUST met in the parking lot of my

university. We happen to be next to her car and we've been chatting for less

than _2_ minutes when she turns to me and says "it's kinda cold... do you mind

if we get inside my car and talk?" Like i had JUST met this girl, so i'm like

"ummmm... ok... i . guess . we . could do that" Little did i know, this chick

turned out to be a complete !PSYCHO!... So we get inside her car to "talk"..

and in the next 15 seconds.. you know what she does?? .. She puts it in reverse

and backs out!! And then she starts driving it down the road, and i'm thinking

"!Psycho!"... ok, so the first thing that came to mind was ... "I'M GOING TO

DIE!" ... the second thing that came to mind ..... "maybe we're going to do

something kinky [finger on chin and a sly smile]" ... the third thing that came

to mind .. "No, this is my last chance to live b/c i'm going to be lying dead

in a ditch in 15 minutes!"

As a follow-up, i sometimes add "and i made her stop the car and i was like

"LATER!!" and i got the FUCK out of that situation" --> this might

subcommunicate a willingness to walk.


Avoid Stalker Routine

"OMG OMG.. that girl.. don't let her see me!" (Hide behind your HB or run and

hide behind a corner. Later when target asks why, avoid the topic!)



You know, my friends are like these awesome guys..

And I love hanging out with them and they're really cool..

But its weird, because they're totally different people like just normally,

and like when they go out to socialize in clubs. Like they get all touchy

and needy and ask all this "what's your name" to random girls that they're

grabbing and stuff like that, or try to buy them stuff to make them talk

to them before they even gave the girls a chance to just talk to them..

Like they can't just BE REAL and just lay back and be chill, and just be

confident that the girls will like them.. They have to touch them and like

try to get them all horny or something.. It's so weird.


This is useful if you're soloing and they ask why.


"People here are so weird! Last week this guy stepped up to me with a girl.

He said that his girlfriend liked me, and wanted me to be with her.

Im like what? He continued saying, while your being with her, I'll be

touching her. Im still like, Whaat?

He just continues, and while Im touching her, I'll also be touching you.

Then I started to look around for some camera's b/c it was just too weird.

I mean, I understand when a girl is stepping up to you like that and wants to

hook up. But a guy coming up like that, and asking you to hook up with his

girlfriend, and wanting to participate?"

After that they'll obviously be in your spell and start asking if you did it.

Then I say sarcastically, No. the guy wasnt really my type.


You know the weirdest thing happened to me today, and i need your opinion on this... (not an opener)

When i lived alone, i threw this party in my house, all my friends came, we even had this cool fog machine that made it really cool...

So as the party is going, two cute girls came in, but they were like holding hands and giggly over each other... I didn`t think much of it there. Ok, so later in the party i start talking with one of these girls and we really hit it off, like when you feel like you`ve known someone for a long time...

So the next day she surprised me by showing up at my house, and you know... we started hanging out together.

But there was always something strange... whenever she was at my house, someone would call her on the phone and she`d be like, "yeah... sorry i`ll be home tonight don`t worry". I thought it was like her parents or something like that.

Until one day i get this phone call and in a girls voice someone says "you`d better stay away from Tatiana or i`ll send someone to beat you up". I just couldn`t believe it. It seemed that this girl had been going out with her girlfriend and she found out about me and went postal.

But now, after we broke up like 5 months ago she calls me today and she says that she wants to see me again. What would you do?


(Predator routine)

"You know what? I can't even trust you guys. Girls are predators. Girls are SEXUAL predators! Guys think that they seduce women and have all this power. Yeah right! Girls choose. They choose. The guys just dangle themselves in front of them *thinking* that they made it happen, but they don't realize that its the girl who chose THEM.

Girls are predators.. They hold the cards.. Examine the evidence.

First, when a guy gets mad at his girlfriend, can he strap on his bitch boots, shove up his pushup bra, do up his hair and makeup, and head out to the bar and pull a girl home in under five minutes? Yeah right! It's GIRLS. YOU GUYS have the power to do that, not guys! (wait while girls laugh).. What percentage of guys can do that? Look at them (point at guys).. They're leaning in and touching, making the girls all uncomfortable, but some of the girls like them anyway.. But the guys THINK its that they were aggressive.. So what, like 5% of guys TOPS can do what 100% of girls can do.

Second, girls are the only gender with one organ designed for NOTHING ELSE but sexual pleasure. (wait while girls laugh) And on that organ, there are ten times more nerve endings than anything a guy has. (wait while girls laugh)

That's why, when GIRLS have sex, they go (put hands onto hair, and do the following very convincingly, like Meg Ryan "When Harry met Sally" style) "uhhhhhh.... oooohhh.... uhhhhhhh.." (wait while girls laugh hysterically screaming their heads off)

-gives you fodder to do "busting them on their manneurisms" stuff.. You can now tease them on their actions, and tease them on what they say, showing that its all designed to take advantage of you


Point out real IOIs (there will be a lot), as well as MISINTERPRETING things that are not IOIs, in order to mess with girls in the set who are not as into you.

-(point) "Hey, you just licked your lips! (back off like you're scared")

-"Hey, you're touching me.. Hands off the merchandise.. I'm just trying to talk to you.. I just want to talk, and you're just SITTING THERE WAITING for me to talk so I can feel ready for you, and you're not even listening to what I'm really saying... You're just biding your time until I feel comfortable with you."

-"Hey, stop giggling at me.. It's making me feel really good.. Stop it.. Stop being so attracted to me" (this must be in deep attraction, or sounds lame.. if its in deep attraction, it makes her REALIZE that she's attracted"


-"Hey! You guys think its all fun and games.. Like you can just do this, and everything will be FINE.. But you probably didn't even know about the hidden damage you're doing.. Did you know that 99% of all colleged aged males who get date raped commit suicide within 1 year? Did you know that when you're taking advantage of a guy for your own pleasure that he walks around depressed and alone for the rest of his life! I don't want this to happen to me! Stop it! No no no, now you're licking your lips again.. Stop stop stop (engaging the group, so you're saying stop to everyone in the group individually).. Help!"

-For girls who aren't as attracted in the set: "Hey, you're leaning away but your knees are pointing at me.. You're trickier than your friends.. You're trying to go in under the radar but your knees are giving it away... OK she's scaring me the most.."



“Watch this cool handshake I learned.” She’s willing to touch you. She’s at that buying temperature.


Usually like a high five is a good kino test. When she says something really cool, say “That’s fucking awesome, high five.”


give her light, playful shoves to the shoulder


You treat them like a bratty little sister (push them away playfully).



re-gained her interest by telling her that she looks like she belongs in NYC (to compensate for overnegging),



"Have you tuned into this "Cheaters" TV show? Don't you love it when they come

storming into someone's house & catch the wife in bed with another guy on

national TV?"


Anything superficial, classy, and basically meaningless. fashion. make fun of

it while acting like you know what you're talking about. "Didn't Madonna really

screw up the fashion world with this whole over-the-top fake cowboy look




WOMEN tend to LOVE: Drama, Conflict, Romance & Famous people in their lives.

Find an interesting-looking group of people & guess what's going on. Look

around you & find couple sitting at table that looks like they're on date.

start making fun of how guy acting, how he's dressed, his posture, etc. Talk

about how girl thinks he dork & how he not getting any no matter how many

compliments gives her.


To one of those guys that wears his pants lower than his underwear... 'I see

London I see France I see someones underpants'! ( an oldie but she'll probably

remember it from her school days and laugh)OR "If those pants were any lower

they'd be socks"! OR "He must be a plumber in training" or (on his day off)!

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